Poems, while thinking of S.

My Idealized Woman

I can see her saying she loves me. Barely the words left her lips and they are already reverberating a millionth time in my head. Already reconfiguring my brain circuits. Raising the action potentials, reconnecting a...

Do This, Then That.

Don’t hold back It is not your love I want Nor your affection, not yet anyway Not even your attention—maybe just a little But you allowing yourself, When you see me, The softness in your heart, The ease in your...

Afterlife

Yesterday I realized From the white-knuckle silence She wouldn’t let go That I am still unborn A point of no focus Not ready yet For her words that ring love May never be ready yet For that chuckle from her eyes...

How We Die

Do I not see in your face The growing pointlessness of me? Did I not get used to you Not even trying to ignore me? What then is this longing still, For a feeling for home, For an uplifting of moods? I must announce this...

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Recollections

Black and White

Black. Let me try this one, she said “…can I do this by my own?” Pushing him away, A self-deprecating Twist on her lip said “I look …y,” Nearly taking it off White. Color of his...

For a “A Short Book of Negative Thoughts.”

From an email exchange with Dachu (my brother), dated 6th July 2013: Here is the first negative thought: I often recall that I feel immediately better when I leave things worse than I found them at first. For example...

Like Well-cooked Mushrooms

Then we drenched in rain. Then I said good bye. Then I drenched even more. Walking in Beijing never felt more earthy.

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Poems, when crushed by B.

To B: When you go home

It is four in the morning. Endless hours of flying, Brought me from sunshine to sunshine. Brain on autopilot. Disconnected. Still. Experiencing, The newness of the old. Opened the door. House woke up to the sound, As if...

When you are upset

See see see, I am here, right here you see First you turned me on Turned me like a marble From words of garble Round and round In your fingers Round and round In your head Only a first draft You said, Wait till the...

How do I know I love her

Saw her today climb into a car, someone else’s
May such moments of pain bring me
A clearer understanding
Bequeath her the rest of my years
Unlived, untainted, closer to God
This is how I know I love her.

Lifecycle on Slack, Across the Timezones

A: So, tell me. B: It goes like this. See, see, see? The green light came on The “Active” light came on My gypsy came on Rational doesn’t know she is cross with me Reason doesn’t know she is fed...

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On Translations

To N.

Our six year-old

“Did you notice?” You said once. “How I don’t address you by name?” “Did you wonder why?” Then we smiled At each other … We then leaned Toward each other “Did you...

Macrolove – N

First cold hands, then warm you Soon sheets of macrolove Enveloped me and you Like a front that’s come in “You silly,” you said “It doesn’t die,” you said And now, fat raindrops Fall...

On the Shores of My Grave

A wave of somethings appeared out of nowhere Thoughts, recollections and some debris Some, questioning if my memory is true Others, smiling with kindness at me— but still unhappy at my worries That I didn’t create...

23 and You and Me

One look, one word
And I died everyday
I didn’t kiss you
Now, after 23 years
I still live
For one word, for one look
And for one kiss
To encode life
Into my 23 pairs

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With Amma

On "All Things Unforgiven"

Road to Brooklyn Book Festival

Sometime in the middle of 1978. Old city of Hyderabad burned with Hindus and Muslims killing each other, and the police killing everyone. Early May 2003. “Characters should behave unaware of the future that lay ahead of...

Sources Of Inspiration

Going through my notes, it is clear that I am inspired significantly by literary criticism. George Steiner, Richard Blackmur (R.P. Blackmur), John Bayley, Edward Wasiolek, R.F. Christian, Richard Gustafson, Gary Saul...

“It Is The Story Of …”

July 8th, 2003 It is not a story of characters where it is clear immediately who is in the wrong, with dark evil intentions and good intentions. No. It is the story of helplessness in the face of one’s own...

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... and the rest

Saaranga English

After an intense 2-month work including a complete front-end overhaul, Saaranga Magazine is now relaunched, with a new English section. Magazine here, and my article, How will they receive me, for the inaugural edition.

p80 “Oliver Twist”

He wandered over them again. He had called them into view, and it was not easy to replace the shroud that had so long concealed them. There were the faces of friends and foes, and of many that had been almost strangers...

Mundane Words

When people gather together, the first thing they do is to tell each other the purpose of why they are there. They begin by reciting their purpose, and the very reasons of being there. This exchange somehow moves the...