A Common Prayer (with the help of Kesarbai Kerkar)

These days I keep imagining you
Sitting in the middle of everyone
But looking elsewhere
Sighing and smiling

Thrown to wolves, I wander in myself
Keeping a distance from you
Body exchange is impossible
Kiss exchange has to be even more imaginary

We are bandinis of our age
Tied to our younger dreams
Mistaking them to be our secrets
Glorifying them, and
Dramatically becoming weary

Until slow frustrations turn into
Shaking of the fingers
Quivering of the tears

Now the chest beats faster
Now the mind wanders off,
And keeps wandering off
Now I am not just hungry again,
Not just thirsty again

Because this younger dream
Has turned into a fever,
Stealing my peace
Stealing my friends
Stealing my wish to die

How strange I must appear to you
That you don’t even feel me
But wait, isn’t this what I always wanted
A release from the world, one by one?

So I smile at your silence
And look at the heavens

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