Decided: I Don’t Have To Die For You

Pouring coffee into the cup,
I realized something, and smiled.

I don’t have to die for you.
Your machinations
Of not even ignoring me,
Will bring your own ruinations.

You will no doubt go to heaven,
But only after your children mourn for you,
And only after you tire yourself,
Of looking for my eyes, ready to come to my arms.

By then I would be long buried,
In the graveyard of your regrets,
–Hidden from you when you stare at it
From your Electric Environment-friendly Car–
Turning and sighing in the golden casket
I built while dying, with my memories
My blessings, and my longings for you.

Raj Karamchedu